


series of confessions

by JLMay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 10:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15839169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLMay/pseuds/JLMay
Summary: Just another what-ifs, the one where Hermione caught Draco in Myrtle's bathroom instead of Harry. This one, though, lead to unexpected confessions from both.





	series of confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Harry Potter, characters, and universe are JK Rowling's.

Being alone with Draco Malfoy in Myrtle’s bathroom was the last thing Hermione expected to happen to her in her Hogwarts year. And what a day today was. An afternoon meaningless stroll after a late library session, she wandered to the deserted bathroom to clear her head. Harry had been too obsessed with Mafoy and Ron had been busy with Lavender. The only time she’d have her peace was whenever she walked as if she had somewhere to go. That way, no one would bother nor dare to bother her. 

To found Malfoy cried was shocking. It was somewhat pleasant to see that git broke, showed his insecurities and just being like other human. But if she was being honest, her heart clenched to the view in front of her. He was in front of the bathroom sink, looking dishevelled with red puffy eyes evident of abundant tears poured from his eyes. His expression was of pure shock when he saw her from the mirror in front of him. But she could not erase from her memory, the extreme sorrow in his already distress face before he snapped to look at the mirror. Alas, his mask of anger and disgust after recognising her presence was erasing her empathy altogether.

“What are you doing here, Granger?” he snarled.

“It’s ladies lavatory, Malfoy. It’s me who should’ve asked you.”

“Piss off,” he hissed as he turned around to face her. 

She didn’t make a move – confused of what to do. Then he did the most unexpected. He couldn’t control his emotion. He sobbed, shaking his shoulders. Hermione sensed his distress and acted out of her instinct to comfort him: hugged him and being the mother. She reached him and led his head to rest against her shoulder while murmured words to soothe him.

“It’s all right. Let it all out.” Her hand caressed his head while the other was on his back. He returned the hug and cried harder. His hug tightened as his cries did. He buried his face further into her neck as if he wanted to melt in there. His tears soaked her robe and her uniform. They remained still until he calmed down. 

“You ruin my uniform, Malfoy,” she said after they were both relaxed then let an awkward laugh. He joined. His laugh was as awkward as hers, but that somewhat made him more comfortable.

“You’re a witch. You certainly can fix that.”

She smiled as they both pulled away. She tapped his back affectionately. “Fancy a little chat?” she said as she sat on the sink gesturing to him to sit next to her. He obeyed, she was the mother here. “I know we’re not exactly friends, Malfoy, but you can talk to me if you want.”

“Why would I talk to you?”

“Well, at least you can let it out, whatever your problem is, from your chest. You might feel better after.”

“I mean, why would I talk to you?”

“Oh! As in … me,” she winced. “Well… I understand that you must feel uncomfortable. You could talk to someone else, of course, and then risk them to see you like this. And it was just … an offer, anyway.”

He hesitated. He clearly didn’t have friend to talk to – well, not that he wanted to talk, anyway. He in fact could go to Professor Snape as he was nagging him about it many times before. Talk to her certainly the ridiculous option. 

So he did.

“I…” he took a deep breath, “I took the Dark Mark.”

She gasped. She looked at him to detect any lie in his word but he stubbornly looking down to the floor. On her mind, it was believable – it was understandable – for him to take the Dark Mark. He was after all the son of a Death Eater and was raised to be one. However the other part of her mind still believe that he wouldn’t take it because it was ridiculous for someone in his intelligence to fall into the trick. And he was still a young boy. To add, she knew that it needed courage and determination to take the Mark. And in her mind, he was the coward one.

“I … I don’t know why I reveal it to you as it beyond ridiculous. And I didn’t mention a single word about it to my friends.”

She regained her composure. She didn’t want to appear too judging despite her shock and she had every right to. It might not too late, she thought, something worse might be prevented. “Okay.”

“Okay? Aren’t you even surprised? I expected your reaction to be extreme shock at least. Do you really believe I’m the kind of person who is taking a Dark Mark?”

To that she was stunned. She looked into his eyes. He looked pissed. “Of course I am, Malfoy, I’m shock, angry, and sadden at the same time. And, no, I don’t think you’re the kind of person taking the Mark,” because you’re a coward she added that in her mind. Instead she continued, “But Malfoy, you are.”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I am.” He rubbed his face with both his palm and sighed heavily. “It was last summer, Granger. I came home welcomed by the Dark Lord, not the best homecoming party, I tell you. He expected me to take it, the Mark. Especially, since my father was in Azkaban I’m the only Malfoy to ….” 

She nodded to assure him when he paused. “I’m listening.”

“My mother, she, is in constant danger. I was instructed to do these bloody missions. The Dark Lord was pretty clear, whether he explicitly said that or not, that my mother’s life would depend on the success of my missions. She’s safe as long as there’s positive progress.”

“These missions … care to elaborate?”

“The Headmaster. He is my mission.”

She was shock, her mouth agape. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t so she closed her mouth again.

“I know,” was all he could say.

After that, they only sat and remained still for a while.  
\---

“Last potion class …”

“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“That’s not fair. I told you my secret, Granger. And I believe it’s much bigger than your silly crush, which if I may point out, you announced to the class anyway.”

“Malfoy!” she scoffed. He shook his head in a little laugh.

“Sandalwood, eh?” he smirked, “I didn’t know that you’re very observant.”

“Oh well. You just wouldn’t drop it, would you,” she cried. “I did smell freshly cut grass, parchment, newly opened ink and …” she lean to his shoulder and exaggeratedly sniffed him, “yes, and sandalwood soap.” Her face flushed.

He grinned. “I’m flattered.”

“Whatever, Malfoy.” She crossed her hands in front of her chest, “I’ll admit that you are attractive. But that doesn’t mean that I think of you in that way, let alone having a crush on you. And I have to point out that Harry talks a lot about you. That might be why you’re on my mind always.”

“So is it Potter who has a crush on me, eh?” he teased her.

“I don’t know. Ask him,” she answered, cursing her foolishness to hint on Harry’s newly obsession to him.

“It’s okay to admit your love to me, you know,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “Tell me, Granger, since when do you like me? Am I your first love? Am I the one you always think about? Is that why you cannot resist getting back at me whenever I taunt you?”

“Hardly. As I told you, I didn’t think of you that way.”

“Who is it then?” he asked. His face fell in a mix of frown and resentful.

“I don’t owe you any answer.”

He frowned. He didn’t know why he wanted to know her crush. He somehow wanted to know who infatuated her ‘in that way’ as she put it. So he picked up the big gun. “There was a cabinet, a vanishing cabinet I was expected to fix,” he said abruptly. “Now it’s your turn, Granger. Your first crush, any crushes, who is him? Do you still fancy him?”

She turned her head to face him but he looked somewhere else not her. She hesitated. He just told her his other mission. She didn’t know if what she’d revealed worth his secret. But she didn’t play the game, but it wouldn’t be fair if he play alone. “Oliver. It was Oliver.” 

His face was comical; his brows raised his eyes wide with his mouth agape. “Oliver as in...”

“Oliver Wood, yes.”  
\---

There was a long silent which neither bother to break. It was almost curfew yet neither wanted to leave the place anytime soon. There was an uneasy air between them but strangely familiar. Hermione and Draco were not exactly friends, but they were bonded nevertheless. Through the years of constant banter and mischief addressed to each other, they pushed each other button out of habit. Draco didn’t need much effort to rile any of the Trio while they will be very well prepared to retaliate, and vice versa. They just know how, and secretly loved it. Without much effort, Hermione and Draco sit together – and being familiar.

“How?” finally Draco spoke.

She growled, “No!”

“Oh come on, Granger. How did you like him? I mean, you don’t like Quidditch, you love books. How do you like someone who is the total opposite? He was obsessed with Quidditch as I remember. Merlin! You’re blushing! It’s crazy!”

“Drop it.”

“No. It’s too good.”

“It was the first year –”

“First year! Oh my, Granger, I didn’t expect that you were … sorry, please go on. Wait, he was four years above us, wasn’t he? Don’t you think he’s a bit too old for you at the time?”

“I ... Yes, Oliver’s couple of years older but maybe that was what made him even more charming. And it’s not like I hope for something anyway. I was classes and assignments, you know, student things. Actually, it should not be that surprising given many girls I know had him on their crushes list. In the first year … well, I didn’t have as many friends at first. People are now nice to me because I’m Harry’s friend. I still remember the first time I sat at the Griffindor table. He and Percy welcomed me very warm as if I was a sister. He asked me to call him by his name. Oliver was all nice, charming, and cute. He once lent me his quill. I never return it.” She giggled.

“You giggle!” he cried and earned a light punch on his shoulder. “He was obsessed with Quidditch. What you’d both talk about anyway?”

“We never talked, other than him asking about Harry or when we'rein a group settings. Not that I’d mind much. As I said, I just adore him and that’s all. He was indeed very passionate about Quidditch.”

“Passionate is one thing, Granger, and I know oh-so-many wizards and witches who are passionate about Quidditch. But Wood was another thing.”

“Okay he was obsessed. But he was still the charming captain on and off the pitch. I was very impressed by his dedication to the team and House Cup and it inspired me in many things I do. Gods! You make me think about that silly crush over again!”

“Have you no shame? You should listen to yourself saying that!”

“It was your fault to bring this topic anyway. Why, Malfoy? Either you are full of yourself and cannot stomach the reality that some witches fancy wizards other than you, or you just need some blackmail material.”

“Nope. But I’ll satisfy your curiosity if you answer my question later.”

“I didn’t notice we play this game.”

“But Granger, it was your idea for us to talk.”

“I suggested you to talk.”

He startled and another long pause ensued. And now the air was heavier.  
\---

Draco took a deep breath. “Sorry, Granger, I got caught up. I just … I don’t know. I don’t talk much to anyone about what or how I feel. The one person I can have a deep conversation was my mother. Even with her, I cannot let all out my chest as when I was younger.”

“Malfoy.” She reached his hand on his lap and squeezed it. 

They remained silent for a while. He then started to form his sentences. “I’m fucked up, Granger. My home, where I should feel most comfortable, is housing this vile beast. The Dark Lord. It’s quite funny how he wants power. If he ever succeeds, he’d rule under constant paranoia. His followers are, raised to be strong and resilient, wanting power. They’d, too, use anything for power. Just like him. And in the future, can be from him. When I was younger, I was under the impression that being in the circle of power make you look commanding and I loved feeling like commanding. Feeling like people respect me, fear me. Later I feel the anxiety and realisation, that I’m not the only one who want that. There are always competitions to please the above. My father, he … he failed his task …” he paused realising the witch beside him knew well what that was, “ … and I had to pay the price. This burden… I … I’m just a boy. This is too much.” His eyes started to welled.

Hermione, being the mother she was, reached him once again with her free hand, lead his head to rest on her shoulder. She rubbed his cheek. “It’s all right, Malfoy. It’s all right.” She thought that it might be for the better, though. At least his head had clear mind to understand the flaws in Voldemort’s ideals.

“It’s not all right,” he said between his sob, “I don’t know anymore, Granger. It’s all came all of sudden – the realisation, the fear, the … All I do right now is to make sure my mother is safe, that’s all I want.”

And compassion for his loved ones. Hermione hugged him. “We do crazy things for the one we love.” She rested her chin on top of his head. “It’s all wrong – we kids should be safe, not involve in this stupid thing.” 

He nodded with his head still on her shoulder. He hugged her back tightly. “Of all people … I didn’t expect to tell you all this. I was really horrible to you since first year. I’m really sorry for that. I was … I was …”

“Shh… it's alright, Malfoy. I cannot say I forgive you, because I haven’t. But how can I turn away when I see you in this state. You should be the pompous brat Malfoy, not the broken down in pieces Malfoy. I hate to see you like this.”

He laughed then paused for a little while before saying, “I … I smelled fresh laundry, old books, ink, and …” he raised his head to bury his nose in her hair, “peony, isn't it?”

She froze. “Peony it is …”

“That was why I brought the topic. I knew it was you, Granger.” He rested his head back to her shoulder again feeling content. “I was excited that you smelled me, actually, only for you to stomp it like that.” He snuggled his head deeper in her neck. “I was taken aback. I’ll admit that your eagerness to deny your feeling even after that, which for me equals with love confession, hurt me. Instead, I had to listen to the tale of your first crush with you blushed like that. I cannot take it. I genuinely hope that I’d be the one who make you all blushing. Maybe that’s what they called jealousy, I never feel that before. As you said, I’m the pompous brat. Hearing you, who smell me in Amortentia, denied the feeling, and then telling me about a crush, who was not me, really bruised my ego.” 

“Oh.” She only blinked, didn’t know how to respond.

“Just … oh?” he winced clearly irritated. “Is it too much for me to expect more than just an oh?”

“I’m sorry Malfoy and thanks, I guess.” She began to blush. “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want you to mock me the second you know that I might have a crush on you.” Draco took her hands and squeezed them. Hermione refused to look at him directly, but she felt the grin smearing his face. “But to my defence, I didn’t even realise it before the class. Well, Ron always says that I have a soft spot for you, so maybe it was there within my subconscious. I will admit that you’re in the attractive pool of Hogwarts students; you’re rather handsome, you’re a bright student, and you play Quidditch.” She pulled her hands from him.

He took her hands back to his, only to place and rubbing his cheek with them. “What we’re going to do about it?”

“Pardon?”

“This thing between us … What we’re going to do about it?”

“Whoa … slow down, Malfoy. I don't think there’s a thing between us. End of discussion.” She said as she pulled her hands to her side. 

The silence now was nearly unbearable. However, both of them didn’t seem to bother to go. Instead, they busied themselves – Hermione swinging her legs up and down at a constant pace with her eyes fixed on the floor, while Draco counted the tiles and examining the door of the toilet stalls from where he sat, wondering what they were made of. She was persistent of being silent, as she thought it should be Draco’s talking session. She didn’t think she needed to talk, especially about the feelings addressed before. Draco, on the other hand, didn’t know what to say. He was about to contemplate his life choices and he wasn’t sure if his interest in her should be one he’d consider right now. Deep down, he wanted to explore that, of course. Under different circumstances, he’d undoubtedly pursue her – especially because he knew she fancies him even if just a little, even if she didn’t admit it yet. But this was not an ideal world and for him, thinking about her right now was equal with a betrayal to his family – to his mother. Yet, he really wanted to hold her hands again, pulled her closer. The comfort she brought to him and the revelation of their newfound feeling toward each other made him yearn to be able to stay with her.

“May I kiss you?” Draco asked out of the blue.

Hermione snapped in surprise. She regarded him, tried to confirm if what she heard was true. Kiss. She heard that. “Kiss?”

He shrugged. “I know. You might think I’m a bonkers to even wonder that you would allow me to kiss you. I just … I don’t know if we can talk like this again. It might be my one and only chance.” He paused while looking back at her. Draco drowned in her and as his guard had all gone, he let himself to learn every details of her face, every wave of her curl, and every line in her face when she made any expression. “Because I know that after this you won’t talk to me. You will avoid me. We might be civil, but you will act as if this never happen. Because as you said, to you it’s all nothing. You’d never consider of what I might think. And I will –”

“Malfoooy!” she cut him. “I just thought there are more important problems at hand.” She tilted her head as if that would make more sense. “You don’t know how pleased I am to know that you somehow fancy me. Malfoy, I love the feeling, too. But I don’t think it’s wise to dwell upon that now.”

He smiled half-heartedly to cover his disappointment that even just one kiss she won’t let him have it. “You’re right. I was … confused, I guess. It all came so suddenly. And this …,“ he gesture to himself and to her, “… This is so refreshing and comfortable in a strange way.” She nodded in agreement.

She tucked his fringe back and brushed his skin a little. His hair was soft and the light touch gave her goose bump. She sighed, “I don’t know. It’s too much to process,” she said as she rested her head on his shoulder, snuggled closer.

“Brightest witch of the age, my arse.” They laughed.

“If it’s up to me, Malfoy, the second thing to do is go to Dumbledore. You will tell him about your situation as well as your missions so he can do something about you and your mother. Third is for you to do what he may ask. I’ll be there to assist you, I promise.”

His brows furrowed, “Wait, I’m not following. I didn’t notice you mention the first one.”

She kissed his cheek. “The first one … well, we can sort that now.” She cupped one of his chin and tilted her head up a little so their lips could meet in a chaste kiss.

Draco, still surprised by the kiss, rested his forehead against hers without thinking. Their eyes locked, observing each other with anticipation. He smiled and touched her face gingerly then placed his lips to hers in a lingering kiss. His hands were on her back, tightly, to pull her close to him. She deepened the kissed, parted her lips to give his tongue full access onto her mouth. They both moaned from the sensation. Her hands were now wander, one grazed his chest then give a light squeeze before moving to his back, the other was threading his hair. He was beyond happy now that his wish was granted. His tongue started to work to taste every inch of her; the jaw, the neck, the back of her ears, then back again to her mouth. They were panting, desperate for air but reluctant to give up the moment. “Malfoy,” she said after they broke the kiss. She rested her head against his shoulder, her nose buried in his neck and her hands clung around his neck, not wanting to let him go. Him, too, keep their distance close with his hands were around her waist and his head buried in her hair with his lips touched the back of her ear.

“Thanks, Granger. Can we stay a little longer before we go to the Headmaster? It's the first step, anyway.”

She smiled, “I'd love to but we're far past curfew.”

He gave her a slow and lingering kiss. “You can have my quills, as many as you want. And don't worry about returning them,” he said in between their kisses.

“I think you convinced me enough.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was overwhelmed by the kudos left for my two previous works. Thanks very much.  
>  For now, I will only post one shots rather than series because even though I have some ideas, I have no skill to write them yet.


End file.
